Love is the one word that I find most difficult to describe in modern English. For love encompasses a very broad range of both positive and negative emotional and psychological states, from total bliss, the highest personal bliss, to the lowest common everyday pleasure. Love is not only subjective, as our emotions filter through our consciousness to become conscious, but it is also objective in that what we experience is not something that happens inside of us, but outside of us. In its widest sense, then, love is a state of being, an inner state of harmony, balance, and well-being.
Many people use popular stereotypes in romantic love to try to describe it: love is that deep, overpowering, unyielding feeling that you have for another person that just cannot be explained by words. These popular stigmas about love make it difficult for some of us to actually experience it. The truth is that this is far from what it’s like to fall in love. To experience love, you must first learn to feel its presence. If you’ve ever felt the powerful sense of passionate love for another person, then you have at least a rudimentary understanding of what romantic love is.
When we say that passionate love means that you feel a bond of connection with another person at a deeper level than can be explained by simple physical attraction, we are talking about more than just lust. For most of us, romantic love goes beyond that initial, lustful rush of attraction. Instead, we realize that there is something other than the physical that holds the bond firm. This deeper level of connection brings us into a realm of positive emotions that, when released, spill over into loving relationships.
Of course, one can and does fall into erotic love, regardless of physical attraction. This is why many relationships fail. Erotic love is merely the easy side of passionate love. To truly experience true, positive emotions associated with love you must also go beyond erotic thoughts and feelings to experience the deeper feelings of love.
For most of us, however, our romantic relationships are not based on eroticism alone. We have a deep emotional need to connect with another person deeply. Therefore, we say yes to another person romantically when we say yes to our spouses, partners, children, parents, siblings, friends and colleagues. Successful people know how to love each day.
In addition to being happy, however, you must also be genuinely good and kind to each other. In order to make another person happy, they need your kindness and generosity. This does not mean you hide your anger, but rather, use it as a stepping stone to build a successful relationship. You cannot build a happy relationship if you have nothing for someone to give you. Give to others and you will find happiness along the way.