When it comes to love making, many people have internalized scripts about how they think things should go in bed. These scripts can be shaped by the stereotypes they see in movies and TV or by the sexy scenes in pornography. However, these scripts often aren’t helpful in achieving the physical and emotional pleasures that are associated with loving and being loved. They can even be harmful.
For instance, if someone has an idea of how their partner should act in bed, they may push too hard or fast, which can result in pain and discomfort. In addition, the person who is pushing too hard may feel like they are doing something wrong, leading to resentment and lack of trust in the relationship. It is important to learn how to make love in a safe, healthy way.
One of the ways to do this is through foreplay, which can include touching, cuddling and kissing before getting into bed. This can help to build intimacy, and it also helps to better understand the difference between loving and having sex. Additionally, it’s a good idea to maintain eye contact during this time, as it deepens the emotional connection and shows that you desire your partner.
Another way to make love is by having a sensual and romantic atmosphere. This can include dimmed lights, scented candles and soft music. It is also important to communicate with your partner about what they enjoy most, whether it is tender pillow talk or a firm massage. Lastly, it is a good idea to take the time to slow down and savor the moment.
Once a person is in the mood, they should start by kissing and fondling their partner. This will get them more aroused and prepare their body for intercourse. They should also pause frequently to look into their partner’s eyes and to compliment them.
It is also a good idea to use a lot of lubrication during this time to facilitate sex and to add to the sexual pleasure. A woman may prefer to use a moisturizing lotion or gel, while a man might prefer a thick, creamy lube.
After a person is in the mood, they can move into the bedroom and begin making love. This can involve a lot of kissing and tenderness as well as some future-oriented pillow talk. It is also important to remember that making love involves more than just the act of sex, and it should be an emotionally stimulating experience for both partners. If the couple is in love with each other, they will probably be able to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with each other during this time. If they are just in lust, they might not be able to do this as easily. Nonetheless, they can still have a great time. It just won’t be as fulfilling as it would if they were in love.
