Making love has always been considered as a romantic, slow, and non-intentional act that offers the chance to experience the spiritual being of oneness within oneself and is generally thought to be an art as well. While many still hold to this notion, making love has its own complexities that need to be explored. More than just the physical aspects of the act, the different ways of expressing love and the different methods that lead to satisfaction are also crucial to understand if we want to truly understand love.
In general, making love becomes more intimate when intimacy is introduced slowly. People who are new to each other are usually nervous, anxious, and tense, so expressing love through words and actions can be difficult. Touch, however, is one of the best ways to create this intimate connection without giving in to nervousness or being too touchy. When you give in to your partner’s emotions instead of repressing them by resisting their needs, you become more real and the connections between you and your partner become deeper.
If you’re starting off in your relationship and you’re unsure how to go about it, you may find yourself making love to someone new almost every day. After a while, though, you’ll begin to notice a distinct pattern in how you respond to your partner and they will begin to develop their own patterns as well. You may have started off with kissing and then moved to caress, to fondle, to nibble, to whisper gentle words, and so forth. It may seem like you developed a deeper physical connection because you were allowing your words and actions to connect on a deeper level, but once you stopped doing that, the physical connection started to die down and you weren’t really connecting emotionally with your partner any longer.
Another common mistake is making love after sexual intercourse. Many people mistakenly believe that making love while your partner is still alive will somehow forge a stronger bond because there was some sort of connection when you were still physically together. However, this isn’t the case. You must engage in sexual intercourse first before any kind of touching or sharing of the sexual parts of the body with your partner. Touching or kissing your partner right after sex doesn’t indicate any form of desire, intimacy or bonding and it’s not going to make things better between you.
You also need to slow down with how fast you go from one physical sensation to the next. By rushing through things like caressing, kissing, licking and sucking, you’re sending out confusing signals. This could be harmful because the mind starts to associate each of these actions with particular emotions or feelings. For example, when you kiss someone you might feel slightly warm. But when you start kissing someone cold, the signals are mixed up and confusing.
The bottom line is that making love should be done out of love and intimacy for your partner as well as for yourself. Don’t rush or think about anything else. Touch, talk, caress and kiss your partner, but don’t get lost in the process. If you want to create a deeper connection, then you have to move your thoughts to feelings and emotions, not physical needs and wants. This is where it’s going to take over and where making love will become easier.