Love is a complex emotion that inspires millennia of poets and songwriters, provides the motivation for many business endeavors and serves as a foundation for healthy relationships. It influences your sense of happiness and well-being, spanning across the entire spectrum from affection to empathy. It can be found in a variety of relationships, from the bond with family members to the camaraderie of friends, as well as in romantic feelings that create the tingling in your stomach and racing heart. Love enriches our lives, and it requires care and understanding to flourish.
In the past, the word love was often equated to attachment, affection and trust. Modern psychologists such as Barbara Fredrickson have expanded the definition of love to include an expansive array of emotions that contribute to human well-being and connection. In addition to the aforementioned sentiments, love also encompasses a variety of behaviors and a sense of belonging and purpose (Vangelisti & Perlman, 2019).
Biologically speaking, humans have an evolutionary reason to love. During infancy, offspring rely on parents for much of their physical and emotional development. As a result, the bond between parent and child is arguably one of the most important in the world.
When you’re in the throes of romantic love, neurophysiological studies indicate that there are increased activations in the brain regions associated with reward and pleasure, similar to the reactions experienced when ingesting cocaine. The hormone cortisol is also elevated during the onset of romantic love, but quickly drops once you enter a long-term relationship and maintain a stable level of commitment.
Yet, despite these scientific findings, many people struggle to define what love is. For some, it’s simply the tingly feeling in your stomach around a crush or best friend. For others, it’s more of a deep caring and connection. And still, some may see it as a sacrifice of self-interest for another’s happiness.
The way you love is largely determined by your personality and your history with relationships. For example, those who possess dark traits such as narcissism and psychopathy are more likely to endorse eros love than those with the “right stuff” who embrace ludus and pragma love styles.
While it can be difficult to pin down the meaning of love, there are some universal themes that run through it all. Love can inspire us to make positive changes in our lives, and it can also give us a sense of fulfillment and a greater purpose. So, the next time you feel those butterflies in your stomach or a smile on your face, take some time to reflect on what is it about that person or situation that makes you happy. Then, share that love with your friends and family. After all, they are the ones who will love you through thick and thin. Then, you’ll truly know what it means to love.
