Many people have slept with someone they didn’t really care about, whether that was a casual hook-up, a ‘friend with benefits’ relationship or sex with a new partner. Those moments, although they may be pleasurable, are often referred to as just fucking. But when you and your partner take a little time to explore each other’s bodies and minds and make the most of each other, that’s making love. And it’s a beautiful thing to witness, particularly when the intimacy is mutual.
People are always asking whether you have to be in love to make love, and the answer is no. Every person has their own unique relationship with sex, and while being in love can enhance the experience, it is not necessary for everyone. It is also important to remember that sex doesn’t have to be sexual — it can be emotional, mental and/or spiritual as well.
The first step in determining whether or not you’re making love is to determine how much time you spend in bed together. If you’re both rushing in, or even worse, just hanging out, then chances are that it’s not love making. If you’re both spending a good amount of time together in the bedroom, and taking the time to explore each other’s bodies and emotions (even if it is on the rough side), then that’s a great sign that you’re sharing something intimate and special.
You should also be able to communicate your needs with your partner, and listen for theirs as well. This is a key aspect of the process, and will help you both enjoy your time together even more. It’s also a great way to build trust in the bedroom, and is an essential component of any strong relationship.
When you’re making love, it can sometimes feel like you enter another dimension. During orgasm, it can almost seem as though you’re not even two humans anymore, but just some kind of strange force that connects everything and everyone. You might feel as if you’re floating on a cloud, or as if you can see your entire life flash before your eyes. Then you realize, in awe, that what you’re feeling is truly magical.
While it is true that you don’t have to be in love to make love, the reality is that it makes things a lot easier. Having a strong emotional connection before you get into the bedroom can allow you to fully lean into your intimacy with that person, and it will give you the confidence to express those feelings in a sensual and emotionally satisfying way. The truth is that it’s impossible to truly understand the joy of making love until you’ve experienced it yourself, and it’s worth putting in the effort to try. If you’re lucky enough to find a partner who’s willing to do the same, it’s a truly breathtaking and transformative experience that should not be missed. You’ll thank yourself later.
