Love is a powerful, complex feeling that impacts your body and brain in different ways. It’s no wonder that it has fascinated researchers for decades. While experts can agree on some broad aspects of this emotion, like feelings of affection, protectiveness, and attachment, the exact meaning is a bit more subjective. In fact, the word “love” can apply to more than just human relationships—it’s also used in a variety of contexts to describe an emotional or spiritual connection to non-human animals, principles, and religious beliefs.
Some people are cautious in expressing how they feel, especially if they’ve been hurt in the past or came from families where those three little words were rarely said. Other people are quick to jump into saying I love you, especially when they’re smitten by someone.
However, saying those three magic words too soon can impact a relationship in various ways. According to a recent study, it can make your brain react differently than if you’d waited a little longer. The reason? Your brain is wired to respond to the word love in a way that’s very different from the way it reacts to other emotions.
That’s why it’s important to know when it’s time to drop the l-bomb—or at least know when to avoid it. It’s all about knowing your partner, and this will differ from person to person. Some people may be ready after a few dates, while others may not be able to say it until they’ve spent some quality time together and can show that they really do love each other.
According to Sofia Robirosa, a Miami-based relationship therapist, there’s no definitive answer to this question. She says that it all depends on the evolution of a couple’s relationship, and if you can see hints of love through your actions. That could mean noticing the little things they do for you, or expressing appreciation for their idiosyncrasies—like the way they wear their hat or sip their tea.
Robirosa says that the average time it takes to decide if you’re in love is about three to four months. However, some couples are able to tell much sooner than that.
It’s also important to note that not all love is romantic. There’s companionable love, which is based on mutual support and affection, as well as self-love, which is a necessary part of healthy living. Using the phrase “love you” as a way to express affection for friends without having to carry a romantic connotation is totally normal, too—just don’t confuse it with love.
It’s also worth noting that if you and your partner use the word “love you” frequently, it can quickly move from being a casual expression to being more serious. It might be a sign that you’re in love and want to take it to the next level.
