Love can feel like a magical force that lifts us up and propels us forward. It can also make us feel vulnerable and anxious. Love comes in many forms, from the bond with family to the camaraderie of friends to the butterflies that accompany romantic feelings. It enriches our lives, gives meaning to life and helps us cope with the hard times. It needs care and understanding to grow. But it can also be confusing and sometimes destructive.
Whether you love your best friend, your spouse or your child, the feeling of love is one of the most powerful human emotions. And while research on love has grown tremendously since Freud’s remarks, the nature and meaning of this complex emotion remains elusive.
Many researchers believe that love is a fundamental biological drive similar to other basic drives, such as hunger or thirst. A physiological model of love argues that certain hormones stimulate the brain to experience a feeling of elation and pleasure. But other experts argue that the feelings of love are not a simple biological reaction and instead reflect a complex interplay between biology and culture.
One of the most important aspects of love is trust. Without it, the love will fade and the relationship will likely end. Research suggests that people who do not build a strong foundation of trust in their relationships are less happy and more likely to be hurt by their partners.
Another aspect of love is a sense of obligation and commitment. For example, you may find yourself wanting to spend more time with the person you love and miss them when they are away. You may also begin to imagine and even loosely plan a future with them. But at the same time, you are aware that you have other interests and responsibilities that you need to tend to.
This type of love is called “companionate.” Unlike the intense passion of romantic love, companionate love does not result in physiological arousal, such as a shortness of breath or rapid heartbeat. In addition, you recognize that the person you love isn’t going to make you happy all of the time, and you are willing to work through challenges together.
Moreover, you are willing to listen to and heed the feedback of those close to you who tell you that your behavior or habits cause them pain or harm. In other words, true love requires the courage to examine yourself thoughtfully and the humility to humbly receive criticism from those closest to you.
For these reasons and others, it’s important to take your time before saying “I love you.” Those three small but powerful words can have a big impact on a relationship. Say them when you are ready and mean them. A loving partner will respect your decision and not try to pressure you into something that you are not ready for. They will also show you that they love you by showing their actions and demonstrating patience.
