There are a lot of complicated emotions involved in loving someone, especially when those feelings are intense and long-lasting. That makes love uniquely difficult to consistently define — which, in turn, can make it even harder to say those three magical words: “I love you.”
According to a recent study by online adult store Dimepiece LA, men are on average more likely to declare their love after about three months, while women may take two, three, six or even a year before they’re ready to do so. But don’t let that put you off from saying the words if your relationship is heading in the right direction and you feel confident in your feelings of love and commitment. Here are some signs it’s time to tell your partner those all-important three words:
1. You spend lots of time together and have deep conversations about your future.
Getting to know someone well enough to say “I love you” takes a lot of quality time spent as a couple, and that often means talking about your shared goals, hopes and dreams for the future. Having those important conversations also allows you to gauge whether your connection is more about deep and abiding love or just infatuation that might fade with time.
2. They say and do things that show they’re in love with you.
When people fall in love, they don’t just say those three magic words — they show it with their actions, too. They might give you gifts or surprises, take you on a romantic getaway or simply do more than talk in the comfort of their own home. Their behavior is a window into how much they care about you and their desire to stay in your life for the long haul.
3. They listen to you and are responsive to your feelings.
The most important sign of a loving relationship is listening and responding to your partner’s feelings, including your own. A good listener shows that they care about you and respect your desires and boundaries. They’re also aware of your needs and wants, and they work to meet those needs when possible.
4. They’re always looking for ways to show you their love, even in small and unexpected ways.
In a loving relationship, it’s normal to use a mix of effortful and effortless “I love you”s, but if someone seems to be using the phrase without much thought or emotion most of the time, it could be a warning that their feelings aren’t as strong as yours.
Finally, a true love will never leave you. It will be there for you no matter what happens in your life or what challenges you face together. A true love understands that there will be times when you’re not feeling all mushy-gushy and think your heart can’t possibly fit it all, but it will still be there for you. And that’s something to be proud of.
