The Three Easy Steps to Relationship Repair – When Someone Says They Don’t Love You Anymore
My ex boyfriend, after hearing from my friends that they felt I did not love him anymore,he called me and was crying. “I just want to hear your voice – I love you,” he sobbed. “I thought you were over me.” What do I do? Should I call him and demand an explanation? Or should I ignore him because he has broken up with me?
My friends all told me that I should not try to contact him after the break up because he might still be feeling the same way about me that he did at the beginning of our relationship; mainly that I was not a good girlfriend. This made me feel very SAD. So, how should I respond? Should I simply ignore his calls and text messages and pretend everything is fine or should I try to find out what his thoughts and feelings towards me are; especially considering that he said that he loved me?
Basically, the answer is a no. Although I do not mean to ignore his call and text messages because they show that he cares for me, I should actually find out what his thoughts and feelings are towards me and if they are mostly good ones. So what do I do? How do I express feelings towards him? How do I tell whether he really cares for me or not? These are the questions that I ask myself most of the time.
First of all, I should not try to contact him because HE can make himself better by calling me. For example, my ex boyfriend had broken up with me and I was the one who was trying to fix him up by going out and dating a bunch of people. Therefore, his bad feelings towards me were directed to me and so I stopped trying to fix him up. I decided that I would rather be free of his bad feelings towards me than fix someone else up.
Secondly, I should stop trying to make up with someone because usually when someone says that they don’t love you anymore, it really means that they still love you inside. Meaning, they would say that they love you when they really don’t. And when I do get the feeling that he truly does love me, I will tell him so. Of course, he will probably think that I should get rid of him right away but then again, I love him and I shouldn’t let his “bad feelings” affect me anymore. Besides, there is no point in keeping someone on the hook if they are not going to take the relationship to another level.
The third way that I should react when someone says that they don’t love you anymore, is to simply listen and understand where he’s coming from. I know that this may seem like a very simple step but I am still a person who believes in listening to the heart and just follow where the heart leads. If something has bothered him and it’s been bugging him for a while then there is a good chance that he is also bothered by it and would like some sort of a resolution to it. However, at the same time, he should also be willing to discuss what has happened and what he plans on doing about it with you. This would be a great step towards resolving the issue and starting over.