Intimacy: How to Connect With Your Partner on an Emotional Level
Although there’s usually an implied association that making love means having sex, making love also has a different meaning for both people involved. It doesn’t always have to involve intercourse, although most often that’s what we think of when we hear the term “making love.” Making love, as a way of communicating intimacy, can also take place without intimacy.
If you’re going to make love this week, it helps to understand that there are several different meanings for the word. Making love is actually defined by The Dictionary (10th Edition) as “to practice sexual intercourse or to act as a partner in sexual activity.” Although there’s nothing specifically wrong with that definition, it does suggest that there’s a key distinction between the act of having sex and actually being intimate. When two individuals make love, the actual physical act is seen as a form of intimacy, explains the relationship and sex coach Debra Snook. However, that physical connection might not be the most important type of intimacy.
In reality, when two individuals make love it’s just about emotions coming into play. It may start as a very direct form of physical contact- kissing, touching, snuggling up close. But once those feelings begin to fester, it typically leads to deeper emotions like jealousy or possessiveness. As these feelings build up, so does the tension between the two partners. When these physical feelings are left unchecked, then it can transform into feelings of anger, hatred, envy, fear, stress or sadness. Instead of connecting with another person emotionally, it may be easier just to focus all your energy on yourself.
For some people, that’s okay. If one partner is clearly not into the other, then one person can take the lead in making love. However, for couples who feel deeply connected to each other, even if they’re not in the same room, then they need to find ways to connect with one another on a more intimate level. By learning how to listen to one another’s emotional states and expressions–as well as what kind of things they find sexy, enjoyable or appealing–they can learn how to create this intimate connection.
It’s also helpful if both partners have an interest in the same types of media. Some studies show that watching pornography has been linked to sexual dysfunction. By knowing the preferences of the other person involved, both partners can fulfill their own physical needs and passions. This can be a very good way to make love. While making love is about being present and allowing your partner’s feelings and physical needs to guide the connection, a porn star can be able to satisfy a woman’s sexual desires by hearing her talk dirty over the phone.
By paying attention to your partner’s emotions and expressions during intercourse, you’ll find that you’re more likely to connect with them on an intimate level. Emotional intimacy is one of the best ways to enhance one’s sexual experience. As such, learning how to listen to your partner during intimacy can lead to a deeper sexual relationship. And once you learn how to enjoy being intimate with your partner despite differences like culture, religion and race, you can increase your chances of experiencing better sex.