Love is one of the most profound emotions we experience as humans. It enriches our lives, provides support during tough times and needs care and understanding to flourish. It can take many forms—the bond with family, the camaraderie with friends or that romantic feeling that gives us those butterflies in our stomachs.
But what exactly is love? Many experts believe that it’s not an emotion per se, but rather a combination of emotions and behaviors that encompasses intimacy, passion, commitment and trust. Some psychologists and researchers even argue that it’s not an emotion at all, but rather a biological drive.
If you want to know what love truly is, you have to start with yourself. “You need to be able to love yourself unconditionally and see what other people are seeing in you, so you can be aware of any dysfunctional patterns that could be tripping you up,” says spiritual thought leader Monica Berg, author of Rethink Love: 3 Steps to Being the One, Attracting the One and Becoming One.
A person in love loves with their whole heart, and is open and honest about their feelings. He or she respects others’ thoughts and opinions, even if they don’t agree with them. In addition, the person who is in love tries to be the best version of himself or herself. He or she is willing to listen and humbly accept feedback from their partner, and will work hard at changing the parts of themselves that may not be working so well.
According to the Match chief scientific advisor Helen Fisher, when you fall in love with someone, a part of your brain called the ventral tegmental area becomes more active. As a result, you’re focused on that person and yearn for them, even when they’re not around. This yearning is accompanied by a rush when you think about them and you find their quirks charming.
In fact, science confirms these feelings: a hormone known as dopamine is released when you think about your crush and when you see them. The more you’re with them, the more dopamine is released, which explains why being around the person who makes you feel good gives you that high you’ve come to recognize as love.
The spiritual Hindu scriptures Bhagavad Gita and Narada Bhakti Sutra describe several types of love: kama (passionate desire) k
So, when is it time to say, “I love you”? As a general rule, experts suggest that you don’t use those words until you are confident that your relationship is on a stable and progressive track. However, in the modern world of text messaging, FaceTime and Skype, it’s not uncommon for that first “I love you” to be digital, not verbal.
