If you’ve fallen in love with someone, your days revolve around them. You miss them when they’re not around and they’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up. You share life responsibilities, like chores and bills, but you also make time for fun. You’re starting to imagine (or loosely plan) a future together, and you want everyone to know how much they mean to you. You may even be thinking about getting married or moving in together.
While most of us think we know the definition of love, it’s a little different for every person. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, it means “an intense feeling of affection and attachment for another person.” In a relationship, this usually refers to a romantic love. But love can extend beyond the romantic partner to friends and family, too. And there are many different types of love, from casual to obsessive.
Psychologists and scientists disagree somewhat on the nature of love. Some view it as a biological drive, similar to hunger or thirst. Others see it as a complex emotion that derives from a combination of primary emotions.
Whatever the case, it’s clear that love is an essential part of a happy and healthy life. In fact, a major study followed people over 70 years and found that strong relationships were among the biggest factors in happiness.
Saying I love you is one way to let your spouse or significant other know you’re crazy about them, and it can be a great way to show your affection. However, the timing of when you say it can have a big impact on your relationship.
Ideally, you should only say it when you feel a deep emotional connection to the other person and are ready for commitment. It can be a powerful bonding experience to be open and honest about your feelings, but if you’re not there yet, it can be dangerous to jump in headfirst.
A few key clues can help you decide when the time is right for you to say those three words.
First, examine your own relationship with yourself. Spiritual thought leader and chief communications officer of the Kabbalah Centre Monica Berg suggests getting radically honest with yourself-dysfunctional patterns and all-and making sure that your motivations for saying it are a true expression of love.
Then, look for ways to show your love in everyday actions. Research has shown that performing acts of kindness can boost your mood and increase your sense of well-being. So, whether it’s giving a friend a ride to the airport or sending them peonies, try to show your loved ones how much you care.
Finally, don’t forget to take a step back every once in a while and appreciate all that you have, including the love you already have in your life. It could be the simplest things, such as seeing the sun come up on a beautiful morning or snuggling up with your pet, that can remind you of how lucky you are to have them in your life.
