When someone you love makes a mistake, you want to forgive them. But you also don’t want to give them the power to ruin your life. That’s the gray area that many people don’t know how to navigate. This is especially true because a lot of relationships aren’t traditional in nature—whether you live together, work with someone or simply date them. Regardless of your relationship status, it’s important to understand what it means to truly love someone.
A quick search of the internet will show you that everyone has their own definition of love, but what’s really important is how it makes you feel. And that’s the beauty of it. Love can be so strong and so powerful, it can bring you up when you are down. But it can also be so weak and so fragile, that it can be easily destroyed. This is why it’s so important to learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones.
If you love someone, you are going to have bad days and even some weeks when you don’t feel all mushy-gushy. But that’s OK. It’s still worth it because you know that in a day or a week or maybe even longer, you will look at that person and a giant wave of love will wash over you. It will be so intense, you might think that your heart could burst. And then you’ll have a few more bad days and some more weeks and you might think that you don’t love them anymore.
But that’s not the case. You still do, you just might not feel it as much right now. But it will come back, and when it does, you’ll be even more in love than you were before. It’s a cycle that repeats itself over and over again.
It takes time and patience to build the kind of true, unbreakable love that can withstand anything. And it’s not always easy, because this type of love can’t be based on feelings alone. It has to be based on real commitment and real action. It takes being willing to make sacrifices, to listen with open ears and eyes when the other person tells you that something they’re doing isn’t okay, and to constantly strive to be a better version of yourself.
But while it may seem like love is a force that’s out of your control, Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia, says that lasting love actually requires active decision-making. She explains that in the early stages of a relationship, hormones can sweep you away, but to cultivate true love, you have to choose to take actions that consistently build and protect intimacy, trust and affection. This is how you can be sure that the love you have for your partner will last a lifetime. So next time you want to tell them that you love them, go for it! It might not feel as good as the sexy, head-over-heels feelings of lust or attraction, but it will be just as rewarding.
