The word love is so powerful and the concept of it can be a bit complicated. While some people think that the feeling of love is only a feeling, it is actually a decision that requires you to act lovingly towards the person that you have chosen as your loved one. This commitment to love is the true meaning of love. It is much more significant and sacrificing than the feeling of romantic attraction, which can come and go with the weather of life.
When you first meet someone, you are often infatuated with them. This is due to the way your brain is wired, as a part of your brain known as the ventral tegmental area increases when you are infatuated with another person. This increase in dopamine can create a desire to be with the person you are attracted to, or even just thinking about them. This is why you might see their face when you close your eyes, or why you can’t stop smiling when you think about them.
You may also feel a rush of hormones when you are in love, which can make the feelings seem like they will continue forever. However, Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationships and addictions, explains that while hormones can sweep you up during the early days of love, it is a conscious decision to keep loving them when they stop producing those initial feelings. This is what makes a relationship last, she explains.
Once you have decided to commit to someone, it’s important that you examine your own motivations for saying “I love you.” Spiritual thought leader and chief communications officer at the Kabbalah Centre, Monica Berg suggests getting radically honest with yourself. “You must take a deep look at yourself and your dysfunctional patterns,” she says, adding that it is important to find out how truly committed you are to the relationship before uttering those magic words.
For example, you should figure out if you are only in love with the idea of them, or if your love is a slow-burning ember that can withstand anger and pain. And don’t be afraid to admit your fears if you are nervous about the prospect of uttering those words.
Saying those words, and keeping them alive over time, is a testament to your ability to love unconditionally. And whether it’s returned or not, that kind of love is an incredible feat and a gift worth celebrating. Especially on Valentine’s Day. Whether you are in a relationship or not, remember to tell the ones you love that you love them, and to celebrate those who have taught you how to do just that. Love is the greatest of all emotions, and it deserves to be celebrated!
