Throughout history, philosophers, psychologists, and scientists have attempted to define love. Some have theorized that it’s simply an emotional sensation, or a mix of chemicals in your brain. Others have posited that it’s more than just a feeling; it’s a choice to form lifelong connections with people and help them grow into their best selves. Whatever the truth may be, we all know that when you love someone, your heart skips a beat, and your palms get sweaty. It’s a feeling that transcends time and space, and can be felt for many reasons—from a deep affection to the thrill of sexual intimacy.
While the meaning of love can be a bit subjective, most agree that it’s something that makes life more rich and fulfilling. It elevates ordinary moments into memories and enlivens the mundane parts of our days with a sense of purpose. In both romantic and non-romantic relationships, love gives us a sense of contentment.
The giddy feelings of love make everyday interactions more special, and the connection between loved ones creates a sense of safety. Even in the most difficult times, love provides comfort and peace. It’s not just a feeling, but a deeper connection that is based on mutual respect and acceptance.
For example, when a friend or family member helps you through a tough time, it’s often because they love you. They see the good in you that you sometimes struggle to see for yourself. They care about your well-being and are committed to helping you achieve your goals. This type of love can also be seen in the way a parent loves their child.
In the earliest stages of romance, love is primarily a feeling of attraction. This is triggered by the release of a jumble of hormones, including dopamine (pleasure), adrenaline (fight or flight), and norepinephrine (alertness). It’s what causes your cheeks to flush and your palms to sweat when you meet someone who excites you. As the relationship progresses, the release of these chemicals is replaced by oxytocin (the “cuddle” hormone), which leads to closeness and long-term commitments.
The third phase of love is caring, or agape. This is the kind of love that a person feels for another, regardless of whether it’s reciprocated or not. It’s the love that a parent feels for their children, or the friends who stand by a friend when they are in a destructive pattern of behavior. It’s a selfless love that values the other person’s happiness as much as you do.
Of course, this kind of love is not always easy. It can be complicated by life changes, misunderstandings, and personal growth. And, just like any other emotion, it can diminish or grow over time. In the end, however, it’s a choice you can make every day. How you choose to cultivate and express your love will determine whether or not it lasts. That’s what makes it so special—and so worthwhile.
