When we fall in love, it can feel like a huge rush of emotions and a sense of excitement. It can also be hard to keep up with the responsibilities of a relationship while you’re in the thick of it, and it may take some time for things to settle down into a steady rhythm. But eventually, the peaks and valleys will even out, and you’ll find that you’re still completely in love with the person you chose to be your partner.
So when is it the right time to say “I love you”? The answer is going to be different for every couple, and it depends on many factors, from your emotional stability and comfort level with the other person to how much you value their presence in your life. However, there are some clues that can help you figure out if the time is right to give them those three magical words.
Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to the urge to feed or water. But psychology views it more as a social and cultural phenomenon that can be influenced by hormones, neurotrophins, and pheromones, as well as our conceptions of what love means. For instance, some people feel the need to express their love for another person in a public way, while others prefer to keep it private and only share it with close friends and family members.
There’s also the question of how much effort you put into expressing your feelings. For example, some couples might always say the magic words without much thought, while others use them almost as a mantra, or to soothe their anxieties and insecurities. While both efforts are normal, it’s important to understand how your partner perceives your declarations of love so you can better communicate with them and build a strong foundation for your relationship.
You spend a lot of time with them, and miss them when you’re not together. But you also recognize that it’s healthy for both of you to have other interests and hobbies, as well.
You think about their happiness and concerns more than your own. You want to make them happy, and you try to do your best to meet their needs. You respect their opinions and beliefs, even if you don’t agree with them.
This is the truest form of love, and it’s often more difficult than the mushy-gushy type. It’s a constant struggle to be patient and understanding, and it requires a willingness to put in the work necessary for a successful long-term partnership. Unlike the euphoric peak of falling in love, this form of love is more sustainable because it’s built on a solid base of mutual respect and care.
It’s impossible to know if someone loves you without them saying it, but there are some clues that can tell you when the time is right. You feel a deep connection with them, and you’re comfortable enough to trust them with your most intimate thoughts and emotions. You respect their boundaries, and they return your trust by treating you with the same honesty and care. You both spend time together balancing the mundane tasks of everyday life with fun activities and relaxation. You’re both starting to imagine (and loosely plan) a future together, and you know that your lives are better when you’re both in them.
