People have tried to describe love in music, poetry, art and more, but it’s still a concept that remains elusive. Even the word itself is a bit confusing, with different definitions: some see it as a feeling, others believe it’s an emotion or a virtue, and others use it to describe romantic relationships or platonic friendships.
It’s also a powerful force, with studies showing that when you’re in love, your brain releases certain hormones and chemicals that make you feel good and help you concentrate on what’s important in life. These benefits of love can have a positive impact on your mental and physical health, so it’s important to understand how to nurture and strengthen this emotional connection.
Biological models of love typically focus on the attachment drive that helps mammals bond with each other, but psychological models often incorporate both companionate and passionate love. The former involves feeling safe and cared for, while the latter is about having a desire to be with someone and wanting to please them.
While neuroscience has made headway in understanding how love feels through the study of oxytocin and other hormones, I prefer to stick with an older Socratic definition that separates loving behaviors into four categories. The first is attachment, which is the desire to be with the person you love and needing their approval and physical touch. The second is caring, which includes valuing the person’s happiness and needs as much as your own. The third is intimacy, which is a desire to be close to the person and share feelings of pleasure, comfort and trust. And finally, self-sacrificing love is when you give up your own desires or needs for the good of the other.
You can nurture these feelings of love by spending time together and sharing quality moments. Intimate activities like cuddling, holding hands and kissing can all help keep love alive and create strong bonds. Physical intimacy is also thought to stimulate the immune system, making it easier for you to avoid getting sick.
There will be days or weeks when you’re not feeling all mushy-gushy in love, and that’s okay. Just remind yourself that those moments will pass. Then, you can look at the person again and feel a surge of love wash over you, even if that love isn’t quite as intense as it was before.
You can also nurture your love by practicing gratitude and focusing on the positive things about your relationship. Studies have shown that people who practice gratitude are more satisfied in their relationships, and practicing gratitude is a simple way to improve your well-being. So, take a moment to think about what makes your relationship special and write it down so you can remember why you chose to spend the rest of your life with this person. Remember how lucky you are to have found each other and don’t forget to tell them every day.
