Love is a feeling that is complex, powerful and elusive. Whether it is romantic or platonic, a person’s feelings of love can change over time. For some, the feeling of love is something that they cannot put into words, but can feel in their bones and in the chemistry of their body. For others, it is a more intangible feeling that is felt within their heart, and is often described as happiness. While happiness can be a wonderful feeling, it is not always enough to sustain one through the many challenges life has to offer. True happiness requires a deeper, more enduring form of love. It is the kind that doesn’t just make you feel good, but teaches you how to take care of yourself and your loved ones through the tough times, the hardships and even the bad days. It is the kind of happiness that carries you through shit that sucks more than your $3 hooker did, and makes you stronger when things go wrong. It is the type of happiness that you can only truly experience through a real relationship, and it is what you have to work at to maintain.
For many people, the first utterance of “I love you” is a significant milestone in their relationship. However, the fear of nonreciprocation is a reason why some hold off on saying it, and even if they feel the word, some are reluctant to put it into words.
There is no specific amount of time that defines the right timing for saying those magical three words, but it is usually a result of the progression of a couple’s relationship and their level of commitment. Some signs of the right time to say them are spending quality time together, open communication and showing that you love and care for one another through actions.
Many experts also note that it is important for couples to continuously re-discover their relational connection, which can be done by asking each other open-ended questions. Some of these include asking your partner what their goals are, where they would like to travel and what their dreams are.
In addition to re-discovering your partner, it is also important to be honest with yourself about what you are seeking from this relationship. It is a big decision to commit to someone and say those three magic words, so you need to be sure that you are making it for the right reasons. If not, then it may be best to turn inward and get radically honest with yourself about your dysfunctional patterns and habits before you say those words to someone else. Then again, that is the whole point of loving yourself, which is a major prerequisite to being able to love another. And that is why we believe that the most enduring way to love is to show it through your actions, not just in your words.
