When you’re in love, it’s hard to think of anything else but them. You feel like you can’t function without them, and that’s a good thing because it means that their qualities have become a part of who you are.
However, it’s also common to feel this way in short-term relationships, or even friendships. This is usually called infatuation and is a normal stage in the early stages of a relationship, says the Gottman Institute.
In a study, researchers scanned the brains of people who were in romantic love and found that they had an activation in areas that corresponded to dopamine activity, which produces feelings of excitement and pleasure. The implication is that we’re wired to find the ones we love in a way that’s similar to our biological needs for food and water.
The feeling of love has a variety of meanings and can vary depending on the type of love, which is why it’s so difficult to consistently define it. In the case of romantic love, we tend to associate it with physical closeness and intimacy as well as a desire for procreation. In the case of other types of love, such as friendship, family or work, it may have more of an emotional and spiritual meaning.
Regardless of the kind of love, there is one important element that’s common to all: trust. This is the foundation upon which marriages, friendships and businesses are built. It is also the foundation that can collapse in times of conflict or crisis. This is why many couples turn to counseling when things aren’t going as planned.
As much as we would all love to have a perfect and sexy romance, life isn’t always this way. There will be days, weeks or even longer when you’re not all mushy-gushy in love. You might wake up some morning and think, “Ugh! I hate this.” But you’re not going to give up because the real love is what you’re going through together. It’s the times when your partner hears you coughing in the middle of the night and rushes to the bathroom to bring you a glass of water; when they drop their sun-drenched vacation plans to sit with an ailing parent; or when they listen to your fears and insecurities and support you.
This is the true power of love, and that’s why recognizing it is so important. It’s a big part of what makes the day dedicated to all lovers so special. So, this Valentine’s Day, make sure you tell your loved ones how you feel and show them how much they mean to you. And remember: love isn’t always cinematic and it doesn’t always feel very good, but it’s worth it.
