The four-letter word that makes our hearts flutter, our minds race and our palms sweat has inspired philosophers, poets and songwriters—but it’s also made scientists take a closer look at what actually happens inside the brain when we fall in love. Thanks to advances in imaging technology, we now have a better picture of the physical and emotional components that make up this complex emotion. It turns out, despite what we’ve been told by Hollywood, it’s not just dopamine that drives our passions. It’s a complicated mix of neurotransmitters, hormones and the hypothalamus that can shape our relationships in profound ways.
Some researchers see love as a fundamental biological drive, like hunger or thirst. Others, though, argue that it’s a complex emotion that derives from a variety of primary emotions. And some even see different types of love, such as lust, romance and attachment, that vary in the degree of complexity.
For some people, falling in love means finding someone with that “X-factor.” It could be a wicked sense of humor, a beautiful grin or a kind heart. But what’s really happening when you fall in love is a complex process that involves the ventral tegmental area of the brain, a region associated with reward processing. When you love someone, this region goes into overdrive to produce a feeling of euphoria and pleasure. Other chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin help tie this feeling of euphoria to feelings of attachment and empathy.
Once you’re in a relationship, it’s important to remember that love is not just about the way someone makes you feel, but also how they treat you. You should show your partner respect, trust and care, and be willing to forgive them for their mistakes. This is a vital part of loving someone, and it can be especially difficult to do when we’re in a state of high-stress, such as during times of conflict or misunderstanding.
Then there’s enduring love, a deep affection that transcends the ups and downs of life. You might see it when a friend or family member remains committed to someone who is struggling with destructive behavior, like drugs and alcohol. This is not only a desire to help them move toward healthier patterns, but a delight in them as a creature of God.
Finally, there’s bhakti, which is devotion to a higher power. It’s the form of love that inspires people to devote their lives to helping reduce the suffering of others. The Bhagavata Purana and other Hindu scriptures define nine forms of bhakti. The most common forms of bhakti are devotional or bhakti rasa, or love for God, and karuna, or compassion and mercy. People who practice bhakti often volunteer for charity, and they may also donate money to organizations that serve the less fortunate.
