As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, love is on our minds. But what is love, exactly? According to psychologists and researchers, it’s a combination of emotions and behaviors including intimacy, passion, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust. It’s about caring for another person, and committing to them regardless of their present actions and needs. It’s also about a deep emotional connection, and the ability to forgive and accept a person, even when their flaws are front and center.
What’s more, some experts say that when you love someone, you accept them completely — even if it doesn’t feel good at times. This is called loving them “even though.” And while some people may think this is insecure, it actually demonstrates a high level of commitment to the relationship and a willingness to work through the challenges that come with being in a committed relationship.
However, not everyone agrees on when to say “I love you.” Some believe that the timing should be based on the length of time you’ve been together in the relationship, while others suggest it’s best to wait until the couple has shared their feelings and has established a strong bond. While both approaches have merit, it’s important to keep in mind that these are just guidelines and that each relationship is unique.
Many couples are nervous to utter those words and are concerned that they’ll be misinterpreted or twisted in the process. And there’s a real possibility that this could happen. In fact, one of the biggest issues that comes with saying “I love you” is that it can be perceived as a declaration of lust or intense infatuation instead of true love. This is especially true when the person says it without much effort, which could be a sign of insincerity or a desire to gain sexual benefits from their partner.
This is why it’s important to communicate your feelings and what you’re looking for from the person you’re in a relationship with. Boodram recommends communicating this by asking your partner open-ended questions like, “What are your goals? What are your dreams?” “It’s also a great idea to check in with the person you’re in a relationship or engaged with. Asking them what their values and priorities are helps you know whether or not they’re the right match for you.”
And while it may be tempting to go into a relationship with expectations, it’s vital that you have a healthy self-esteem before declaring your love. You can do this by getting radically honest with yourself and exploring any dysfunctional patterns that you have. It’s also crucial to examine the relationship you have with yourself, because if you don’t love yourself, it will be very hard to love anyone else. And that’s something you can start today by taking care of your body and mind. By doing this, you’ll be better prepared to say those three magical words and live up to the potential of your relationship.
