Love is a lot of things, but in the most general sense, it’s a deep commitment to a person who you will not abandon for emotional whims or fancy. It is a promise to help them through tough times, and that you will always be there for them, even when you are not in the best mood. It is a recognition that they are not going to be perfect, but that they add value to your life and bring you true happiness. It’s 143 pounds of Mr. Rogers, and it’s a lot more complicated than just “feelings.”
Saying “I love you” is a powerful and important statement that signals to the person you are in a serious relationship with that they are important to you. The words can be hard to say and may make you feel vulnerable, so it is important to carefully consider when to express those feelings.
Research from 2015 indicates that women often wait to say it, as they do not want their partners to feel rushed into commitment. It is also important to note that the research does not account for nonheterosexual relationships and does not delve into the experiences of transgender or nonbinary people, so the findings should not be assumed to apply to everyone.
When you decide to tell your love that you love them, it can be helpful to write a letter to them. You can even break it up into smaller bits and leave them in places they will not expect to find, such as on their car before they are about to drive away or on their desk for when they get to work.
The body of the letter can be a list of everything you love about them, what made you fall in love with them initially, and why you still love them today. You can also talk about the future and what you hope for your relationship together. Lastly, you can make it more intimate by saying “I love you” in a way that is unique to your relationship. You could say it in a special place like at a romantic restaurant or on the beach where you first met.
You should not say “I love you” when you are feeling emotionally vulnerable or if you are not sure of your own feelings. It is also generally not a good idea to say it early in a relationship or when you are just dating someone. Additionally, you should not say it when you are just filling in silence or avoiding awkwardness, and you should not say it before, during, or after sex.
If you are unsure of your own feelings, it can be helpful to talk about them with a trusted friend or family member. They can give you a more objective view of your emotions and help you figure out how to approach your love. Then when it is time to say “I love you,” it will be authentic and meaningful.
