In a world where so much is uncertain, love can sometimes feel like the one thing we know for sure. But what does the word mean and how do you know if you’re truly in love?
The most basic definition of love is an emotion that involves feelings of affection and attachment. It can be a positive, life-changing experience that brings people together and makes them happy. It’s also an important factor in most relationships and marriages. Love is the basis for all other emotions, and without it, there’s no way to fully understand or appreciate life.
While the word “love” can be used in a variety of ways, it’s usually associated with an intense feeling of infatuation, obsession and passion. This kind of love is all-consuming and can lead to an idealized version of the person you’re infatuated with. In some cases, this may even cause you to ignore or overlook negative behavior in someone you’re in a relationship with.
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Sarah Calvert says the first step to loving someone is accepting them for who they are, including all of their quirks and mistakes. It’s important to be able to communicate openly and honestly about the things you’re not comfortable with, so that both of you can make the best decision for your relationship moving forward.
It’s also crucial to be honest about your feelings for the person you love. It’s not uncommon to have days, weeks or even years where you don’t feel mushy-gushy in love. But don’t give up! Stick with it, and eventually, you’ll look at that person and feel a wave of love sweep over you. It’s the kind of love that changes your perspective from self-centered to caring about the needs and happiness of others.
As for when you’re ready to say “I love you,” there’s no set timeline. A few months may be enough for some, while it might be way too soon for other people. It really depends on the level of passion, intimacy, trust and commitment in your relationship.
According to Psychologist and Sex and Relationship Adviser at online adult store Dimepiece LA Barbara Santini, the male sex hormone testosterone may play a role in how quickly men feel comfortable saying those three magical words, but it’s also a matter of personal preference.
She explains that for some women, it’s harder to admit their true feelings than men are. This is probably because they are more cautious about the consequences of saying those three words too early. But it’s also because they feel a deeper connection to their partner and are more likely to put in the work required to build a strong foundation for their relationship. Regardless of the gender, she recommends focusing on assessing the four elements of love—passion, intimacy, trust and commitment—to determine when it’s time to say those three words.
