When people talk about making love, they mean more than just sexual activity. It’s a feeling of intense intimacy and passion. While anybody can have sex, it’s much more difficult for some to get that emotional connection through intimate acts.
Many couples struggle to find the right balance between having sex and making love. Having sex is fun and exciting, but it’s not always enough to keep the relationship healthy.
The difference between having sex and making love is not just about how much physical contact you have or even whether or not there is penetration. The real difference is the degree to which you both set your hearts to connecting with one another in a deeply romantic way during your sex life.
You’ll probably know if you and your partner are making love when they tell you romantic things during sex or afterward and when there is pillow talk involved. It’s also about the details – if he moves a pillow out of the way to be more comfortable or reaches for your hand during a particular part of the act, he’s making an effort to enhance the experience for you.
He’ll also be more focused on you during sex when he’s making love to you, and he’ll be more apt to caress your body. He’ll focus on your lips, touch your cheek and neck, and caress your hair. He’ll take the time to be tender and thoughtful, and he may even bury his face in your neck or kiss you in places that are most pleasurable to you.
It’s important to note that the difference between having sex and making love starts before you enter the bedroom. You need to create an emotional attachment that you can lean into during sex, and this takes time and trust.
Then, when you’re in the moment of sex, you need to communicate your feelings to your partner by using words and body language. If your partner doesn’t hear what you’re saying or feels that you’re not being taken seriously, he’s less likely to be fully engaged with you and is more likely to treat the sexual experience as just a physical activity.
If you notice that your partner is distracted during sex or looks at the clock, it’s not because he’s not enjoying himself but because he’s not truly engaging with you in the moment. When he’s making love to you, he needs to be totally immersed in the experience and not thinking about work or other obligations. It’s also important to be able to recognize when you aren’t in the zone and need a break from the sensual activity. Make sure you take a breath and come back to the bedroom refreshed. If you’re having trouble finding the right rhythm, try experimenting with different positions to see what is pleasurable for both of you. Then, you can re-engage and continue to make love.