Having sex with someone you don’t care about or for whom you have no feelings, or with the person you share a physical relationship with but aren’t romantically involved with, doesn’t really qualify as “making love.” While sex is a powerful sexual experience, making love involves more than just that. It’s a mindful act of creating intimacy and a sense of unity with a partner.
Taking time to prepare for your bedroom ritual and creating an atmosphere that feels warm and inviting is a big part of what makes love making so special. This could include things like dim lighting, scented candles, and sexy lingerie or massage oils to get your partners in the mood. It’s also important to keep communication open and use your time together for talking about what makes each of you happy in the bedroom.
Being able to communicate and create a safe space that allows each partner to feel fulfilled emotionally is what sets loving relationships apart from casual flings or hookups. This requires trust and a mutual desire to be present, and a deeper connection that goes beyond the physical.
When two people are truly in love, they want to be in the moment together, whether it’s for making love or simply enjoying each other’s company. They’re focused on connecting in a way that brings them joy and satisfaction. This may include kissing, cuddling, or even just holding hands. Making love isn’t just about sex but about the whole experience of being intimate with a loved one.
It can take a lot of work to be in this place, which is why communication is so vital. Trying to make love when you’re fighting or resentful can lead to a lack of connection, so it’s best to work out your issues in other areas of the relationship before entering the bedroom.
Making love requires a certain level of vulnerability, and this can be harder for men than women. If your partner shows vulnerability during sex by expressing his fears or letting you know that some positions are more pleasurable than others, this is a sign that he’s in it for the long haul. He’ll also probably be more willing to slow down or stop if he feels uncomfortable.
Making love can be as simple as a couple of kisses or it can be transcendent—Freud called orgasm “the little death” because you almost cease to exist for that brief moment. It can be a spiritual, magical, and life-changing experience if you’re with the right person and you approach it with the intention to connect on emotional and sexual levels. So, go ahead and get naked and make love! You’ll feel a whole new level of happiness that you can’t quite explain. Just don’t forget to breathe! Your body and soul will thank you. – By: Veronica Alonso, MA, LMFT, CSAT. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Author of “Love Is a Verb: How to Create an Intimate Relationship with Your Teenager” and “Anxiety-Free Sex: How to Stop Overthinking, Start Experiencing, and Start Living.” Visit www.VeronicaAlonsoLMFT.com for more information.