If your relationship is under stress outside the bedroom, it will probably be hard to make love in the bedroom. Similarly, if you have sex with someone who isn’t your partner, such as a friend-with-benefits, it’s not likely to be the same as sex with someone you truly care about.
While sex is generally about sexual pleasure, making love involves more than that. It’s about a couple being intimate with each other emotionally as well as physically and sharing their passion, desire and love for one another. This includes a sense of tenderness (even if the thrusting is a bit rough) and a feeling of being seduced by the other’s body. It’s also about caring for the feelings of your lover and knowing what they like and don’t like.
To get your man in the mood for love making, start by telling him what you want from him. If you can’t figure it out, close your eyes and imagine all the things that are exciting to you about him. This will help you become more aroused and will give him something to anticipate when he gets in bed with you.
Once you’re both in the mood for it, focus on slowing down. Touch your partner gently and play with their bare skin. Be creative with it; try different sex positions. Missionary is a good one for making love, as it gives you a lot of room to explore her body and to play with the different parts of her. You can even whisper sweet nothings into her ear to keep the romance going.
After you’re finished playing with each other, focus on deep kissing. Try to linger longer than usual, and be careful not to break the connection you’ve built. This is especially important if you’re trying to seduce your partner or if they’re reaching their climax. Be sure to tell them how much you love and care for them.
If he’s talking to you or flirting with you while he’s in bed, that’s a sign he’s interested in more than just sex. He’s there to enjoy your company and to make you feel special.
Likewise, if he asks for your consent before getting physical and doesn’t continue without it, that’s a sign of respect. It also shows that he respects your boundaries.
In the end, you know if your guy is in it for love or just for sex when he treats you with dignity after you’re done. If he smiles, makes eye contact with you and seems happy to be with you, then he’s really in it for love. On the other hand, if he immediately goes to sleep or becomes busy on his phone, it’s likely that he’s there just for the physical pleasure. He may still be attracted to you sexually, but he’s not in it for the long haul. He needs to show you that he’s serious about your relationship. If he does, then you’ll both be happier in the long run.
