The bestowal view is a popular one, but it misses the mark in many respects. While love is a creative act, it is not an antecedent value. Consequently, accounts of love that understand evaluation as a reaction to appraisal are missing a key feature of love. The antecedent value of love cannot be understood in the same way as the love response. This is why we need an alternative account of love.
The give and take nature of love makes it both a physical and a psychological process. The more one gives and receives, the more likely they are to be reclaimed by another person. It’s not as if love is a physical object; it is more of a feeling that can be shared with others. While love is a ressource to be given away, it can also lead to trusting others. The process of receiving love is similar.
Lovers share roles, virtues, and interests. In addition, lovers develop shared identities by allowing each other to define his own identity. For example, the two may have different interests, roles, and virtues, but they have the same interest in each other. The same holds true for sexual relationships. And they can be equally supportive of one another. But the best kind of love involves reciprocation. So what are the characteristics of a loving relationship?
A mature love is a deep attachment. It is different from an heightened passion or infatuation, but is far more satisfying. It is also more stable. It lasts longer than a friendship. When a person falls in love with someone, they feel an intense attachment. Unlike an intense passion, mature love is not characterized by high levels of sexual desire. So, it’s best to keep the distinction between the two types of love.
Christian circles use Greek words to define the concept of love. Thomas Aquinas described love as “the desire for another’s good” (#8). This definition explains why Christians should strive to love others. The same goes for romantic love. The word ahabah refers to love, whereas agape refers to love kindness. The same word can also be translated as ‘astorgos’. If a relationship has a strong agape, then the other is likely to be a pragma.
While love is an uncontrollable emotion, it is a beautiful emotion. True love is strong, beautiful, and doesn’t require adornments. True love is unbreakable, whereas a crush feels significant. And the euphoria and hopelessness of a crush are nothing compared to the euphoria that comes with a true relationship. You can’t make someone fall in love with you, but you can choose to be in love with someone else.
It’s important to remember that being in love doesn’t mean everything in your relationship will be perfect. Even when things are going well, it’s important to seek help if you are not happy. This may save the relationship and restore your inner peace. Then you can begin to enjoy the joy of your relationship. This is the most important step in the process of building a successful and lasting relationship. But remember, despite the beauty and comfort of being in love with your partner, it doesn’t mean that there’s no room for problems.
